Posts Tagged ‘I’m all messed up’

We are going to being doing a sex, drugs, and rock and roll,  BlogHer@Home series.  I know you are all SHOCKED I am the resident “druggie”  I mean I carry this around with me...so yeah.

Ok so I do know a thing or two about the sex part…but my job is to introduce the DRUGS.  Somehow it also includes sex, because shouldn’t everything?  Yeah, you read that right.  If you follow me on twitter on my blog you are already laughing knowing I am high as kite writing this. Sometimes drugs are fun…like when you are 19 and stupid.  Sometimes drugs are needed to keep you alive, by maybe keeping your blood pressure down.  Or maybe you take drugs to help with the occasional migraines…or you take a happy pill, so you can run through a field of flowers.  I don’t know.  What I do know is why I take drugs.

I likey.

NO NO NO.  That’s not true.  I have to.  I have had like 20,ooo two ankle surgeries and heading into number #3 on June 4th. Party at my place. The types of surgeries I have had are painful, long lasting, and takes years to fully recover from. Can you say hello disability much?  So along with that comes ENDLESS pain.  Which means I need medication.  I don’t just mean an ibuprofen 800mg, I am talking Big Daddy drugs that you normally only get via I.V. in the hospital.   The side effects of these drugs totally suck, but my friends totally enjoy my pain. Ok not my pain, but my redonkulous behavior. I also have shingles now…so more pain for me, when it rains it pours people.

Like during our recent BHAH meeting of the minds, Jenn and Nic thoroughly enjoyed watching me split my pills and medicate. (Mas had just gone to bed, so it was time to pull out the big guns.)  Not so much the part about having to take the pills, because they are used to that, but more about my pill splitter.  Or my clit-splitter as Nic would say.  NO NEVER PUT IT NEAR YOUR CLIT.  It just  happens to resemble a clit, kinda-sorta.  Especially when you are hammered hanging out with your friends via video chat.  I mean Jenn and Nic would NEVER laugh at me, only with me.  I think.   I was too out of it to tell.  Unfortunately I will continue to need this clit resembling pill splitter for quite some time to come.  I joke a lot, but mostly drugs suck.  I would much rather have hugs than drugs, but hugs can’t cut it sometimes.  Unless it’s a hug from my little man or a flash of Nic’s bewb (dude, seriously, this was a very intense meeting we had going on) I am going to have to stick to the hard stuff for a while.  Taking bewb flashing applications also.

So, yeah I am notorious for insanely redonkulous tweeting and mumbo-jumbo jibberish blog comments, but that’s me!  Or the me for now.  So remember, drugs are good when prescribed and you can give your friends hours of entertainment at your expense.  Also?  No matter how much your pill splitter resembles a clit, NEVER EVER EVER put it near your clit.  It’s for pills only. *cough* Jenn & Nic *cough*