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Every night I fall into bed next to a man I have been with for seventeen years. I am more in love with him now than I was when I married him. Not only is he my best friend and partner in parenting our five children but he is my lover, and a damn good one at that.

Through the years our sex life has changed. When we were young we fucked like rabbits, sometimes six and seven times a day. (no lie) We would literally lay up in my dorm room and have sex all day long, soaking the sheets with our sweat and bodily fluids, drinking water and sodas and eating cheese crackers and candy bars. I am amazed he was able to keep his 4.0 that semester to be honest with you because he missed a lot of classes. In those early years we had sex just about anywhere, and everywhere. There is probably not a park, a dead end street, or cemetery we didn’t visit in the southern part of the state.

When we met, I was definitely the more experienced one and I used it to my advantage. My mother often said that the reason he asked me to marry him in six weeks and three days of dating was because I probably blew his fucking mind away with so much sex. There may be some truth to that, because I have yet to hear him deny it.

Over the years, the ebb and flow of our sex life has varied. That is what happens when you have children back to back to back and all kinds of family drama in between. Frequency has varied from twice daily to four to five times a week. I think the longest we have gone without having sex is five weeks and one day and that was last year when I had a hysterectomy. Sex is a very important part of our relationship and I hope it continues to be.

One of the great things between Mr. K and I is having open communication, especially when it comes to sex. Sadly, many couples do not have open communication about sex. I’ve been surprised by how many women do not voice sexual discomfort, likes, dislikes, and what they want in their relationships. Sometimes this is because of past sexual abuse or other issues that may impact trusting your partner. I’ve had people ask me what is the most important thing to my sex life, and it’s not a position, a sex act, or some extra mysterious make you orgasm in 30 seconds fingering move but trust. The second most important thing is talking.

It might not be easy to communicate your needs between the sheets. I know I have failed at communicating my wants and desires a few times. There are always subtle ways to get information to your partner. I know that I have left messages for Mr. K on the bathroom mirror written in lipstick. Sticky notes with suggestions in his lunch, emails with suggestive information and possible links to something I want to try, and let me not forget sextexting.

Just like communicating anything else in a relationship, be sure to not cut your partner down or embarrass them. This may be a no brainer, but nothing turns a person off more than hearing “I really hate it when you…”. Try to pick appropriate times to to talk to your partner about what you want from them sexually. If they are really stressed out or extremely tired it is probably not the time because they may not be receptive to your wants and desires.

I know it is tough with kids, jobs and all the other responsibilities but without a doubt, opening the lines of communication about where you want to be kissed, licked and fucked will only improve your sex life and even more so your relationship.

This post would not be complete without a GIVEAWAY!!! I would like to thank the people of KY for sponsoring my post today on BlogHer@Home and providing TWO very lucky readers the chance to win a prize pack of their Yours+Mine products. Winners will receive the NEW K-Y KISSABLE SENSATIONS but also a K-Y YOURS+MINE lubricant.

To Enter: In the comments let me know what  creative ways you have done to communicate with your partner what you want or life between the sheets. A winner will be announced next Thursday, same time and place, so you have until Wednesday to get your entries in.

Last Weeks Winners!!! Random.org picked out no. 10 and no. 5. Congratulations Ilissa and carbonKim!!!

A few months ago I had the pleasure of seeing Norah Jones in concert. The tickets were bought at Christmas but the concert  was near my birthday in May.  Mr. K and I decided to combine our night with Norah to be a night just for ourselves and rented a hotel room. We dressed up for the occasion and I wore a beautiful new pair of open toed black heels with a long black and white maxi dress. When we got to the hotel room, Mr. K had only one thing in mind and he was practically tearing my dress off of me before the door shut. I went to slip off my shoes and he said “O No, I want you to wear those!”

What is it about shoes that turn men on? Especially high heels and leather boots. Some say it is because it makes a woman’s legs look longer and sleeker. Others say that a woman in high heels have better posture and their boobs and butt poke out more and it accentuates the curves. Some men say they like the way women walk in them, that they appear more confident and sexier. Whatever it is, there is no doubt that men find women more attractive in sexy, high heel shoes and see them more as a piece of lingerie than something to keep the feet from injury or cold.

So ladies, I have to tell you a good pair of fuck me shoes are in order to add to your trunk of lingerie. Just imagine what a turn on it can be for you man if he came home from work and all you had on was a pair of leather boots

( Sara O’Flaherty )

or red high heels

(@MommyNeedsMeds)

or something like this

( @angi33 )

or this

( @some1s_sista )

and this is steamy with the outfit

(@VampireSmitten )

I bet it would lead to some hot and heavy fucking. And having a pair of shoes on doesn’t get in the way, in fact it could really spice things up. High heels make you taller and may make things more accessible for your man. Imagine being bent over the kitchen table or bathroom counter and your husband taking your from behind. Add a little S&M into your foreplay with a good pair of spiked shoes. This might be a good time to wear some riding boots and grab a crop and ride a cowboy if you know what I mean. However you may need a hat too to totally pull it off cowgirl style. And if you are doing it missionary style you can always prod your man with your heels to either slow things down or speed things up – just saying! Not that I have ever done anything like that. :::looks around innocently:::

The thing is, sex doesn’t have to be bland. Spice things up. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it can be as simple as wearing a pair of sexy shoes, using a blind fold, wearing nothing but an apron and having a wooden spoon in your hand, sexual enhancements that help bring on orgasms, or trying something new. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable for you and your partner. Keep things lively and don’t be afraid to try something new – like those boots Sara has on!

This post would not be complete without a GIVEAWAY!!! I would like to thank the people of KY for sponsoring my post today on BlogHer@Home and providing TWO very lucky readers the chance to win a prize pack of their Yours+Mine products. Winners will receive the NEW K-Y KISSABLE SENSATIONS but also a K-Y YOURS+MINE lubricant.

To Enter: Please let me know if you have a pair of Do Me Shoes in the comments or your best piece of lingerie that turns your partner on. A winner will be announced next Thursday, same time and place, so you have until Wednesday to get your entries in.

Last Weeks Winners!!! Random.org picked out no. 4 and no. 1. Congratulations FluentFamer and habanerogal!!!

WARNING: The contents of this post of are explicit in nature. It is not suitable for work and it is not suitable for children. Thanks again to the hosts of BlogHer@Home for giving me the opportunity to write about what I love to do most.

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I need a crown to go with my pearl necklace because after all I am a queen.

A blow job queen.

The first time I heard what a blow job was I didn’t scrunch up my face and scream “Ewww gross!” I was fascinated. So I looked it up in the World Book Encyclopedia and was disappointed when I found nothing about blow jobs. I had been under the illusion that those beautiful books contained everything I ever wanted to know, but it wasn’t until a few years later when I was thirteen that I would finally get to see what a blow job was all about. No, I didn’t start giving blow jobs then, that came a few years later, but my best friend Stacy and I did discover her dad’s porn collection and that was an eye opener.

A few years later I did finally get to give head and ya know, I probably wasn’t very good at it, but I don’t think he noticed. He was new to blow jobs himself and was probably just happy to have a girl willing to stick his dick in her mouth. For the next few years my highschool sweetheart’s dick was training ground for years to come.

Giving good head I don’t think comes naturally, it takes practice. Lots and lots of practice. Through the years I have perfected my skills. I like giving head. I get off on it. Nothing makes me cum faster than knowing my husband is about to blow and is screaming to a God he doesn’t believe in. There is a certain kind of power you have over a man when you have his manhood in your mouth, near your teeth. They are vulnerable, and you have the ability to give them much pleasure or pain.

So today I am going to give you some tips on how to give great head. Giving great head doesn’t mean you have to swallow or deep throat your partner. Most men could care less about either one of those things. Though I will warn you that if you are doing everything right, and you become a blow job queen like myself, be prepared to spit or swallow.

First, the number one thing you need to know about giving a good blow job is enthusiasm. You have to be excited about doing it, or your partner needs to think you are excited about doing it. I am of the opinion that this is not something you should fake – you either like sucking the dick or you don’t. If sucking dick is not for you, learn how to give a mind blowing hand job. Giving good head though has a lot to do with attitude, being sexy, and being excited about being with your partner after that,  it’s all about technique.

Second thing you need to know about giving good head is that the wetter it is the better. There are two ways to go about this. One way is to use a lubricant and the second  is to lube it up yourself with your saliva. Slobber up and down the shaft. Use your tongue to get things wet. Pretend you are licking a giant lollipop and just can’t wait to get to the center of it. Take the entire shaft in your mouth and build up a lot of spit with your tongue, enticing and teasing from the base up. Don’t worry about any slobbering or wet noise you may make while you are doing this. Your man will not even notice!

The next key to making this a mind blowing experience is to use your hands. You may not be able too or may not want to take the entire penis into your mouth but you can still give attention to the whole thing. This is where having a really wet dick is going to come in handy. While the head is in your mouth you can grip the base of the penis with your hand and in a twisting like motion massage it. You are going to want to be firm, but not to firm. Dude will let you know if its too tight I can guarantee. You can also give the illusion that you are taking the whole penis into your mouth by making a fist around the shaft of the penis and making sure it is pulled right up to your mouth. When you go up and down with your mouth, you do the same with your hand.

One of the things I do when giving head, is that I am constantly changing it up. I don’t just do the same thing over and over again. You don’t just want to suck the dick, you want to tease it. You want to lick it. You want to flick your tongue all around the head, sometimes at the same time you are sucking it. Kiss it, gently rake your teeth over it, and change the amount of suction you have when sucking it. Not only do you want to change the strength of your suck but the timing of it too. Take long deep sucks, teasing with your tongue and change to quick rapid ones. Pull off the shaft and kiss the inner thigh, lick the balls, or while sucking him off massage the area just behind his balls. There is no certain order to doing any of this, it’s really up to you and you will be able to take cues from your man on by the sounds he makes by what he likes most.

The time will come to finish your man off. You can go about this in a variety of ways. For one, once you decide you are going to finish him off in your mouth you are going to suck on him rhythmically, keeping the same pace. If you cup one of your hands around his balls you will be able to tell when he is about to cum. You will feel them begin to tighten up and this is when you are going to move at a faster pace. As you begin to feel him cum, take his dick in your mouth all the way down to the base and slow the sucking down as he shoots off down your throat, either that or pull the dick out of your mouth QUICK!  If you are not wanting him to cum in your mouth, I suggest at some point mounting him and riding him to the finish line. You can always just pull off and scream FUCK ME at him and I am sure he will be obliged to do so in any fashion.

So far I have not had any complaints in the blow job department, so where is my crown? I think Mr. K owes me one with sparkly diamonds after seventeen years of getting great head. I am not sure if these techniques will work for you like they have for me, the key is to respect your partner and have an open line of communication. Let your partner know what you like or don’t like and be sure to take the same cues from them.

This post would not be complete without a GIVEAWAY!!! I would like to thank the people of KY for sponsoring my post today on BlogHer@Home and providing TWO very lucky readers the chance to win a prize pack of their Yours+Mine products. Winners will receive the NEW K-Y KISSABLE SENSATIONS but also a K-Y YOURS+MINE lubricant.

To Enter: In the comments below let me know if you think I deserve a crown. For an additional entry leave your own tip for giving great head. A winner will be announced next Thursday, same time and place, so you have until Wednesday to get your entries in.

Last Weeks Winners!!! Random.org picked out no. 28 and no. 1. Congratulations Kimberly and Jenni!!!

Kimberly:

I am sitting at work dying!
Ok, we did it standing up on a bike path in the ditch…we could hear people biking by us…Those were the days sigh prebaby ;)

Jenni Williams:

oh boy.
before kids, the movie theater. really. standing up, in a movie theater.

after kids, in the kitchen while the kids were in the tub. (Before someone thinks I am neglectful they are 5,7,9)

OK  So I was totally planning on giving you a rad (yeah i say rad) Fourth of July cupcake recipe…but then I came across these “sparklers” and was all like “DUH, I make these at Christmas time, why not for the 4th!” (OK truth:  I will not be making shit. I am bed/wheelchair bound for a while, but y’all can email me for my shipping address. ;p)

They are so simple and easy and I LOVE chocolate (especially white chocolate) and pretzels together.  And everyone KNOWS sprinkles makes everything better!

I found this picture and recipe over at Martha Stewart’s fancy website.  but lemme tell you guys something…I have been doing this for YEARS.  Martha probably stole it from me.  THAT BITCH. Ok truth: I am n a lot of meds and some of them make me a *little* rage-y.

Anywho, these are fun and easy and the kids can pretty much do them alone. Well aside from the whole melting chocolate thing.

Here is what Martha had to say about it: (Word for word) Like most sparklers, these are extinguished after a short while — with several large bites. To make two dozen, place 4 ounces chopped semisweet chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir occasionally until melted; remove from heat. Using a pastry brush, coat the upper third of each pretzel rod in chocolate. Cover with sprinkles; stand pretzels upright in a glass. Place in the refrigerator until firm, about 5 minutes.

I mean I didn’t talk to her myself, but one of her minions typed this up on her site.

Here is what I do…  You can get this really awesome melting chocolate in white, regular, or dark now that you bust up and melt in it’s own container.  You just microwave it, stopping to stir and making sure you don’t over cook it b/c you will burn that shit.  Have some wax paper laid out, pretzels out, and several different combos of sprinkles.  If you are really feeling creative you can color portions of the chocolate, well only the white chocolate…OR you can buy “Candy Melts” that come in several colors already and they melt in the microwave too.  So, just dip the pretzel stick in, then dip/roll in sprinkles and let them dry on the wax paper.  It is really so simple, cute, and YUMMY.  You can use any pretzels you want really, just the long sticks are easier for handling.

That’s what she said.

Speaking of “that’s what she said” don’t forget to enter the KY giveaway presented by Kim we have going on right now.

If you think you can hang…Muahahaha!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY BEESHES!!!!  PARTY HARD AND REPORT BACK HERE, TO THE GIMP. KTHANKXBAI.